This was bad news week U/D my soulmate Artie's gone

I am so sorry for you love, we all know only too well the pain you are in. I am sending lots of loves and comforts.

Hugs

J xx

How are you holding up?

So sorry to hear that you lost Artie. He was such a special guy and I know how much you loved him.

I think that whatever the outcome, we always doubt ourselves and feel we should have done things differently, even when everything that could have been done, was done. You did everything you could for your little guy and I am absolutely sure that he had a wonderful happy and fulfilled life.

Thanks all for your kind words.

Katieb wrote:How are you holding up?

I did think I was holding up well, one of those "guilty for how well I'm doing" feelings but my mood came crashing down today.

I've got Barnaby, an outdoor bunny unwell at the moment and I don't have any decent space indoors to keep an eye on him... except Artie's home *sigh*. I should really have put Barnaby there but I just can't. To be fair to myself though, I won't put another bunny there until I've replaced the carpet as Artie's problems stemmed from EC and there's no point in taking risks.

I miss Artie most in the evenings as he was constantly coming over asking for cuddles until last week. It's so hard to believe how quickly he went down, though I suppose it also means he had the spirit to keep going for such a long time

It is shocking how quickly it seems when they go downhill. I remember that happening with Gloria. One day she was fine, the next she was terminally ill.

I think the worst thing about grief is that it hits you when you least expect it. All you can do is remember that you did everything that you could for him and try not to be too hard on yourself.

You are so right Nicky love. How are you today hun?

Hugs

Jo xx

Thanks for asking.

It's absolutely killing me today I think it's because I can say, 'this time last week" he was ... eating etc. It's a week ago that I stayed up all night with him so I'm going through all the 'what ifs'. There isn't anything to make it better, I know, I've just got to work it through. I think I thought one day he's refuse his food and that would be it. The last week was hell trying to second guess what to do.

I know how difficult this is for you.

I'm sending you loads and loads of hugs. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you

How are you holding up hunni?

Katieb wrote:How are you holding up hunni?

I seem to have found some peace with his passing now. I was in a terrible state at the weekend and a very wise person convinced me that guilt should have no place in my grief, and that he wouldn't have wanted me to be tormenting myself. I had been struggling with the fact that he died at home and beating myself up that he had suffered right at the end. It was bad timing as I was only aware that he really wasn't right at midnight and he didn't appear to be suffering just 'not so with it' so I was waiting til morning but stayed with him in case he got distressed. If all this had happened in the morning I would have got 'help' for him. I spent all night with the realisation if I stayed awake all night for him to make sure he didn't suffer then I wouldn't be fit to drive the following day... wondering which vet to take him to, how I'd get there etc. I honestly think I lost the plot that night as I was so tired so my mind is making up stuff to torment me with After I had calmed down I remember having a conversation with him when we had our last and very long cuddle late evening and I knew he wasn't feeling good. I now remember saying to him that it was alright if he had to let go, I'd understand because I knew it was getting hard for him to stay. That's a far better memory than all the confused stuff from being exhausted during the night. sorry, probably too much info I still can't face doing Rainbow Bridge but I'm getting there. I can't tidy his home up yet either, we're on day 12 or so. Esme needs company - she has lived next to Artie since 8 weeks old, over 5 years. I can't put another bunny in Artie's territory until I've replaced everything as it was EC that made him ill so I need to get all that sorted for Esme's sake so will have to face that soon.

Thank you so much for asking and thinking of us. He was a once in a lifetime bunny so I'll miss him so much. I'm extremely lucky he was with me for 8.5 years as the average lifespan for my previous bridge rabbits has been only 2.5 years, so I am grateful for that length time. I'd never have hoped to have had him 21 months after the kidney removal either - and he's been so happy and felt so well until just recently.

I'm glad you are coming to terms with things Hun, you did exactly the right things and Artie knew he was loved right to the very end.

Im sending you all my love x

Grief is such a hard emotion to deal with. You always wish you had done things differently and beat yourself up about things that were out of your control.

I can understand your not wanting to make changes until you are ready. I remember Thumper2001 feeling the same when her beloved Thumper went to the bridge. It took a long time to deal with it for her as she had had her for such a long time.

Don't worry about posting too much. We are here to listen and help and we understand what you are going through. I hope that you can get some peace of mind soon

Big Ears wrote:

Katieb wrote:How are you holding up hunni?

I seem to have found some peace with his passing now. I was in a terrible state at the weekend and a very wise person convinced me that guilt should have no place in my grief, and that he wouldn't have wanted me to be tormenting myself. I had been struggling with the fact that he died at home and beating myself up that he had suffered right at the end. It was bad timing as I was only aware that he really wasn't right at midnight and he didn't appear to be suffering just 'not so with it' so I was waiting til morning but stayed with him in case he got distressed. If all this had happened in the morning I would have got 'help' for him. I spent all night with the realisation if I stayed awake all night for him to make sure he didn't suffer then I wouldn't be fit to drive the following day... wondering which vet to take him to, how I'd get there etc. I honestly think I lost the plot that night as I was so tired so my mind is making up stuff to torment me with After I had calmed down I remember having a conversation with him when we had our last and very long cuddle late evening and I knew he wasn't feeling good. I now remember saying to him that it was alright if he had to let go, I'd understand because I knew it was getting hard for him to stay. That's a far better memory than all the confused stuff from being exhausted during the night. sorry, probably too much info I still can't face doing Rainbow Bridge but I'm getting there. I can't tidy his home up yet either, we're on day 12 or so. Esme needs company - she has lived next to Artie since 8 weeks old, over 5 years. I can't put another bunny in Artie's territory until I've replaced everything as it was EC that made him ill so I need to get all that sorted for Esme's sake so will have to face that soon.

Thank you so much for asking and thinking of us. He was a once in a lifetime bunny so I'll miss him so much. I'm extremely lucky he was with me for 8.5 years as the average lifespan for my previous bridge rabbits has been only 2.5 years, so I am grateful for that length time. I'd never have hoped to have had him 21 months after the kidney removal either - and he's been so happy and felt so well until just recently.

Goodness. I could have written a lot of that myself.

One thing I learned from Thumper dying was that no matter what you do, the guilt will get you. Even if you did the opposite from what did happen, you would feel guilty about that.

When I found Thumper that morning, my OH was at work and I didn't want to take her to the vet without him. I called him at work and he in turn called my parents. My dad called me and after asking if I was ok he asked me "is she in pain?" I told him she wasn't and he said as long as she's not in pain, just keep her warm and keep her comfortable. Which is what I did. The one thing I actually do regret now is trying to get her to the vet when OH came home from work. If I hadn't done that, she would have died in her home and not in the car.

I've seen posters on here say things like let the dying die and sometimes the right thing to do is nothing, etc etc. You did what you felt was right and that was your call, and I'm sure it was the right one.

And there's no such thing as too much info! If it helps you to post it then post it

As easy as it is for me to say, don't beat yourself up!

Thanks Nickie

Thumper2001 wrote:Goodness. I could have written a lot of that myself.

One thing I learned from Thumper dying was that no matter what you do, the guilt will get you. Even if you did the opposite from what did happen, you would feel guilty about that.

When I found Thumper that morning, my OH was at work and I didn't want to take her to the vet without him. I called him at work and he in turn called my parents. My dad called me and after asking if I was ok he asked me "is she in pain?" I told him she wasn't and he said as long as she's not in pain, just keep her warm and keep her comfortable. Which is what I did. The one thing I actually do regret now is trying to get her to the vet when OH came home from work. If I hadn't done that, she would have died in her home and not in the car.

I've seen posters on here say things like let the dying die and sometimes the right thing to do is nothing, etc etc. You did what you felt was right and that was your call, and I'm sure it was the right one.

And there's no such thing as too much info! If it helps you to post it then post it

As easy as it is for me to say, don't beat yourself up!

Thanks for this. Yes, one of my "what ifs" was that I'd cause him to pass whilst getting him in the car. I have my local vets 10 minutes away and FHB 45 minutes away. I 'needed' someone who knew how special he was to help him pass which would mean the 45 minute journey. As the night went on the more I realised that it wasn't fair on him to do that, not practical and I wouldn't be alert enough to go. It was ridiculous how 'big' who helped him was for me when in reality it would be me that was for and not him. Then of cause the realisation that he was probably so fragile by then that the journey would kill him... and almost certainly distress him - but which was worse? A home visit never even crossed my mind. So none of the scenarios were good. There had to be some level of distress for both of us, it was inevitable. FHB said that it is what he would have wanted, to have been at home with me when he passed. I like to think that's right and that he didn't suffer. I would have been absolutely mortified if he'd gone whilst I was either away from home or asleep so at least I was with him.

You're so right about the guilt. I've had guilt for other rabbit losses usually that I didn't see it coming, this time I did know it was coming so the guilt has taken me by surprise. I really had no idea 8.5 years ago when I brought this little bundle home just how much he would come to mean to me.

Thanks again guys, you're all so kind

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