When is the right time?

I'm in a limbo.
We have just returned from yet another vet visit to check on Bertie.
As well as receiving a phone call from exotic vet this afternoon.
Facts are:
His blood results are back and he is in kiney failure, all parameters raised and they asked me to give additional fluid which I done because he is a star and takes anything from the syringe willingly unless it's Baytrill.

His breathing is erratic and changes from very rapidly to Cheyne stokes( that's long gaps between the breaths)
I set up another spare dog bed filled with straw and hay for him so he doesn't need to climb into anything to have a snooz( or do bunny business) as he can walk into it. He loves it!

He is taking food and fluids orally, not so much pellets, but greens and treats and the c c that I give as a top up 10 ml twice daily. He loves this too and licks it out of a special china dish or from the spoon. I add his fibreplex and ranitidine in there. Metacam he takes of the syringe no problem.

He interacts, whenever I enter the room he seems genuine glad to see me, circling around my feet asking for fuss and attention and gets it!

He put on weight 40 g! And seems happy enough in himself

The vet asked me how I feel and what I think the plan should be.
As long as he is happy that's fine. I have been given some tramadol just in case if he would look like in pain, but then he didn't display anything so far.
The vet agreed with this and we will see how we go over the weekend. They are aware and would come out to the warren at any time. they provide 24 hour service.
 As I have taken off work this week ,next week is gonna be busy with long distance traveling and many hours to work. Can't mess them about again really.
 I don't want to leave Bertie on its own for any length of time but have to go to work at some stage. If he would go whilst I'm not around I would feel very guilty and upset.
My only day off next week is Wednesday. 
On top there was a discussion between OH and me earlier. He claims that I put my own stuff( Palliative Nurse)
Onto Bertie and be far to pessimistic and not allow the boy to heal himself.
I responded that he is unrealistic and meaning to help or support but frankly is not! This bunny has got three masses in his chest. Fluid in his trachea, the heart is displaced to the left and he is now in Kidney failure.
Sorry I can't be optimistic about any of that. 
Hoppers please be hornets. Is it me going doolally?

You're not going 'doolally' at all. I think it is hard for other, non-bun people to understand - be they OH's, family members or friends

I think you will know when the time is right for Bertie. At the moment he sounds to be enjoying life and comfortable. There is no need to bring this to an abrupt end. Yes, he could slip away when you are gone but he may well hold on and start to deteriorate - that will be when you make the decision about letting him go, if that's what you decide.

You are a wonderful bunny mum and Bertie is very lucky to have you. Sending oodles of hugs and vibes to the both of you xxxx

I agree love, he is eating and seems to enjoy his life so I think it is OK for the moment. Lots of loving and healing vibes are on their way and please keep us updated. No you are not losing it hun

Hugs
JO xx

Glad he seems to be comfortable and happy enough at this time. I think you are taking such good care of Bertie xx

I have seen this on FB and it is so true.

It comes to me that every time I lose a bunny , they take a piece of my heart with them.
And every time a new bunny who come into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart.
If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be bunny
And I will become as generous and loving as they are.
Author unknown.

Oh honey Im so sorry you are going through this.

Bertie is so lucky to have you, I don't think you are projecting onto him at all, I think you are fighting for him.... and he is very lucky to have you.

Aw no I'm so sorry to hear his kidneys are failing

You will know. I asked myself the same question with Thumper numerous times but when her time came, I just knew she was ready to go. We were en route to the vet when Thumper slipped away in my arms.

Trust your instincts. I hope it's a long way off, though

c.bolduan wrote:I have seen this on FB and it is so true.

It comes to me that every time I lose a bunny , they take a piece of my heart with them.
And every time a new bunny who come into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart.
If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be bunny
And I will become as generous and loving as they are.
Author unknown.

I like this, it is so true, same with dogs I feel the same about them. I miss the 4 dogs I have lost in this life time and miss Dougal, also miss my dwarf hamster Gimli, he was tiny but he had a big place in my heart.

I think you will know when it is time hun. Us bunny mad hoomins always do. Hugs to you.

I am so sorry to read this latest update If Bertie is still interested in eating by himself and appears bright, happy and comfortable then I don't think it is his time just yet. Take one day at a time and be guided by Bertie. I think you will know when Bertie is ready to slip away.

A huge thank you to all.
Been with him for the last two hours. This bunny doesn't ask for much but to be loved and fussed. I will happily give him that.
Now need to clean litter trays and then get off to bed my self.
I had thought.
OH suggested this assumingly as a joke a long time ago.
You should be traine d a vet nurse!
How would I go about this? My bed time story tonight.

Sophia would be the best person to ask about this but I think there are a couple of ways - see here

http://www.rcvs.org.uk/education/i-want-to-be-a-veterinary-nurse/

I hope Bertie has another good day today xx

If you wanted to do vet nursing, Im sure you would have no trouble at all getting on to a level 3 diploma. Its a 2 year course, very intensive though. If you want to know anything, give me a shout, as Ive spent an awful lot of time looking in to the different routes, and know of a lot of nurses that went in to it as mature students.

As for Bertie, Im so terribly sorry. He has so much going on, but the way I see it, if hes comfortable, has quality of life, and looks like he is happy to fight, fight for him if you are able. I know its exhausting. I was fortunate enough that I could take Dolly to work with me, and she wasnt too phased by it.
There was a couple of times where I thought Dolly was giving up, and I seriously thought maybe I should let her go, but then she came back fighting again. She did this several times. When I decided enough was enough, she clearly felt the same, as she went in to her forever sleep just as I set off to say goodbye.

Thinking of you, Bertie and Bubbles xxxxxxxxxx