I need some advice on Hughie...

I knew when i decided to keep him that Hughie might be here for a while, as rehoming is quite slow, and on the grand scheme of things, i havent had him that long. Im not struggling with caring for him, but emotionally im finding it tough after loosing Davie and Skye and i havent bonded with him that much. Of course i like him but in some ways hes just another rabbit (i hope you know what i mean, i never see a rabbit as "just a rabbit"). In some ways its good that i havent got attached, but at the same time it really bothers me. I dont regret taking him on, because he his confidence has really come on and hes better off here than in the not so good rescue space that became available for him.

What also bothers me is that he hasnt really had any interest. One or two enquieries but ive heard nothing back from them other than Rebecca who has had a home check and although she is suitable, i said i would old consider bonding them after her rabbit is over 10 weeks post neuter as he is a male. It bothers me seeing him on his own in the playhouse too and i sometimes wonder if its worth attempting to bond him with Marley and Dolly.

But then i could end up back at square one. After i put Skye with Davie, i decided i wouldnt bond a trio again as pairs seem to get on better and are more settled. I just dont know what to do for the best at the moment.

You are grieving hun, you are bound to be up and down with how you feel about everything. I would imagine, to a degree, that you (subconsciously) aren't letting yourself bond with him. And that is perfectly normal, it's instinct to protect yourself.

I can't really help with bonding suggestions/what to do with him, but there must be a reason you said you'd ever bond a trio again? But that's entirely your call!!

Would he be easier to rehome if you bonded him with a single ladybun from a rescue? Then he would have company of his own? Sorry if it's a stupid suggestion, I've no idea how the land lies with rehoming in your area.

Don't be hard on yourself about it all Sophia, you have been through such a traumatic time

Sophia you are doing a wonderful thing with Hughie, even un-bonded he now has a life he could only have dreamed of.


I agree with Thumper you have been through a lot and you need to give yourself some time. You should do with Hughie whatever you feel is right in your heart
And that doesn't need to be right away. He is safe, fed, clean and cared for, give everything else some time and it will fall into place x

I think it may be better in the lognrun to keep him single than as a trio. After all would it not be more stressful to bond him and then when he does find a home take him from a bond he may be perfectly happy in and then put him in a new bond? its obviously totally your call but i remember you saying how left out skye was when bonded with the others, if that happened again would it be worth it for hughie?

I think as Thumper said you are still grieving and its natural your emotions may be all over the place on the subject. I wouldnt worry too much, Hughies forever home is out there, they just havent found him yet

As everyone else has said, it's perfectly natural to not allow yourself to get attached to him so soon after loosing Davie and Sky.

Try not to worry about you and him bonding just yet - as Katie said, he is living the life of luxury compared to how he was and to him it probably seems like a dream, whereas you see it as less than that because you're like all of us and want the best for your buns, but I promise you he is probably happy as anything how he is just now!

Take your time to think things through re: bonding and what you're going to do with him. For now he is perfectly fine, and there is no reason why you shouldn't allow yourself some time to give it some headspace. Thinking of you, you deserve a medal for what you do for buns!

Amelia66 wrote:I think it may be better in the lognrun to keep him single than as a trio. After all would it not be more stressful to bond him and then when he does find a home take him from a bond he may be perfectly happy in and then put him in a new bond? its obviously totally your call but i remember you saying how left out skye was when bonded with the others, if that happened again would it be worth it for hughie?

I think as Thumper said you are still grieving and its natural your emotions may be all over the place on the subject. I wouldnt worry too much, Hughies forever home is out there, they just havent found him yet

Sorry if it was unclear. If i bonded him with Marley and Dolly, i wouldnt rehome him. That wouldnt be fair on him.

I really wouldn't put two bucks together, especially given the size difference between Marley and Hughie.

Do you have him on Rabbit Rehome?

I wouldn't feel guilty about not having bonded with him as that is not your role in his life. Your role is to be his carer until his forever home comes along. His basic needs are food, water, shelter, safety and such freedom as is practical to behave like a rabbit. Anything above that, such as any time you get to keep him company, any work you do to improve his confidence, any treats you give him are bonuses.

What do you feel he needs that he is not getting at the moment? Company might be nice for him, but on the other hand if he is a timid rabbit perhaps it's also the last thing he needs right now.

As has been said, he is now far better off than he was, and better off than he might have been elsewhere. Focus on the positive stuff you have done for the little guy and don't worry about the rest for now. It might be that if he is with you for a lot longer, you need to re-assess, but I'm not convinced this is the time to do so.


ETA - another thought, are there rescues local to you (or your local branch of the RSPCA) who would be willing to add him to their websites to give him more exposure?

He is much happier with you right now than he was before, I had the same issues with Benji. I hated seeing him alone and sometimes wondered if he would bond with my three. But now he has a home, and he is much better off because hes in a pair.

Your two are much happier in a pair, because they picked on Skye, so it wouldnt make sense forcing the issue because he is lonely right now, he wont be lonely forever.

You are still grieving, and dont feel guilty about not bonding with him. I loved Benji SO much because he was Jellys baby in 2007 BUT i kept a distance from him because he wasnt staying. The right home will come along

Thanks guys.

What do i think is missing? I just dont feel hes getting enough love! Eventhough i know hes getting far more care and attention than he was before. I know hes happy where he is really, its obvious, but i just wish he could have more attention.

Ad for bonding him with Marley and Dolly, i really dont think Marley will be an issue with him, i think the issue is more likely to be Marley turning on Dolly. Its a bad idea, i know that. Marley and Dolly are happier as a pair.

I have thought about contacting other rescues and seeing if they have a female waiting to be taken in to pair him with, but i dont think taking on more to make him happier is the answer either.

Unfortunately, we havent got many rescues around here, but ill give my local RSPCA a call tomorrow and see if they can "advertise" him in their centre. Ill also drop one off at my vets when i get the opportunity. Im just feeling a bit down at the moment, and everything is just hard work i guess.

Does Rebecca not have space to keep him in until her other rabbit is ready to bond with him?

deleted

Zo wrote:Does Rebecca not have space to keep him in until her other rabbit is ready to bond with him?

marleyNfriends wrote:Rebecca who has had a home check and although she is suitable, i said i would old consider bonding them after her rabbit is over 10 weeks post neuter as he is a male.

Both her rabbit and Hughie are males. I went ahead with the home check anyway, because if she passed i was happy to help her find a suitable female. I said i would attempt to bond them, after that period but finding females for both rabbits would be less of a risk long term.

I know that, I can read!! But I am also aware that it is possible to bond males, even though it is supposed to be more difficult, perhaps it would be worth discussing this with her and seeing if she would be willing to have him regardless of whether he is bonded with her rabbit

Zo wrote:I know that, I can read!! But I am also aware that it is possible to bond males, even though it is supposed to be more difficult, perhaps it would be worth discussing this with her and seeing if she would be willing to have him regardless of whether he is bonded with her rabbit

Because i rescued him, and in doing so made a commitment to find him a suitable loving home. Im not willing to just pass him on to someone and make it someone elses problem, as that could make his future with her uncertain. I want what is best for everyone all round. My rabbits, Hughie, prospective adopters and their rabbits too.

What is best is that both Hughie and Rebeccas rabbit Harry find compatible female buns. Its much less of a risk long term if they were ever to fall out. Its not something ive dismissed entirely, but as i said, i wouldnt even contemplate bonding them until after her rabbit has been neutered for 10 weeks. In the mean time, i am still looking for a suitable female for both Harry and Hughie. By trying to find them both one, i wont be doing one rabbit out of a bonded partener, because Harry obviously needs a bunny thats for adoption and Hughie needs a bunny in a private home with owners who are seeking to adopt another bun. Sadly, there seem to be an awful lot of males for adoption at the moment

ETA: I now see what your saying...but its a lot of stress for him to go 50 miles only to have to come back again, and possible miss out on another perfectly good home in the meantime.

Oh Sophia you have done a wonderful job with Hughie and like Thumper said you are still grieving it's still early days you have been through so much I don't know how you find time for everything you do.

I'm sure Hughie is happy he is certainly looked after and want's for nothing as you have given him so much. I've a customer looking for a male for her spayed female but I think it's an outdoor bunny that she has, I will gladly take a photo off the forum of Hughie and email it to her with some details if you would like me to. They live in Darlington I think. I will email her tonight with details if you wish

As the others have said, you are grieving.

And Sophia, Hughie is getting the most love and attention he has ever gotten in his entire LIFE! Be happy with that! He is being shown true love. We all know you love bunnies and all animals...well maybe not snakes

I appreciate what you do!

Tuckerbunnies wrote:Oh Sophia you have done a wonderful job with Hughie and like Thumper said you are still grieving it's still early days you have been through so much I don't know how you find time for everything you do.

I'm sure Hughie is happy he is certainly looked after and want's for nothing as you have given him so much. I've a customer looking for a male for her spayed female but I think it's an outdoor bunny that she has, I will gladly take a photo off the forum of Hughie and email it to her with some details if you would like me to. They live in Darlington I think. I will email her tonight with details if you wish

Thanks Maysie I think ive just been having a rotten couple of weeks, as im just feeling a bit down in general. Marley and Dolly havent been getting the extra attention i usually give them either, but its different, because they have eachother, Hughie is on his own, bless him. Ive been out there for a while this morning, as i got up a bit early before the wasps all came out to terrorise me

As for your clients, Hughie doesnt have to live indoors, im happy for him to be outdoors if he has the company of another bunny Theyre very welcome to come and meet him, hes even lovelier in the flesh. I got kisses this morning while he was helping me clean his playhouse

gentl wrote:As the others have said, you are grieving.

And Sophia, Hughie is getting the most love and attention he has ever gotten in his entire LIFE! Be happy with that! He is being shown true love. We all know you love bunnies and all animals...well maybe not snakes

I appreciate what you do!

I like snakes! ...its bugs i cant stand, and spiders!!

Thanks again guys, im feeling a bit better about things this morning.

Zo wrote:I know that, I can read!! But I am also aware that it is possible to bond males, even though it is supposed to be more difficult, perhaps it would be worth discussing this with her and seeing if she would be willing to have him regardless of whether he is bonded with her rabbit

Zo, the experiences of people on here and that I know from elsewhere that I have heard is that whilst it is possible to bond 2 boys it is not advisable. Even those who have had successful male bonds say that they would not try it again. Bonding can be incredibly hard at the best of times and it seems unwise to try bond you know will probably be unsuccessful when a better option may come along. Sophia (Marley&friends) is has quite a knowledge base and understands all of this. Sophia also has experience and understanding of the complications of having multiple unbonded buns.

Sophia you are doing a really good job with Hughie but remember he is your foster bun. You are not obliged to feel for him the way you do for your own buns. Someone will come for Hughie eventually that is right for him - I am sure of this. You are feeling low and probably allowing some mutterings from others to get to you. Keep strong and focused. Hughie will find that home and you will begin to feel a bit more positive with time.

Sophia, you are doing a fab job and you are completely entitled to feel like that towards him.

I bet you 100% he is happy. He is in the best place for him at the moment

I hope he finds a loving home soon.

I don't think I can add anything that hasn't been said before, but I still want to say don't beat yourself up. You're giving Hughie a fantastic life and I'm a firm believer that things always work out in the long run, even if they're not the way you expected them to be, so try not to worry, he will find a forever home and if he's giving you kisses then he is definitely happy where he is now

I have copied and pasted the details about Hughie and the photos and just sent it off to the customer looking for a male to bond with her female

Oooh!! Fingers crossed!!