Celeste is escaped under the shed... sigh

Well as those of you know who are my FB friends because I've been MIA on HH we've just moved house and we have been looking to rehome Moon & Celeste because the new garden is so small that their current enclosure is very small compared to the huge one they were used to. Anyway as it happens we were on our way out to get some more pellets so I have none here at the house but popped out to check on them before we went out and saw Moon out at the bottom of the garden. She was very good and just hopped over and let Matthew pick her up and she went back in the enclosure. But Celeste is still under the blooming shed! He wont come out for love nor money with all the veg in the world as a temptation. I'm about to go out to get pellets in the hope that he'll come out for those. WHY do they DO THIS to us?!?!?!!?!

Aw I am sorry to hear you are rehoming them. Will you be bunnyless?

I will be. I am in such turmoil about rehoming them Char. I don't want to, and I don't even know how necessary it is. I'm going to have to go out and measure the enclosure they are in later on. I look at it, to me its too small. I don't know if its just because I am used to the massive old one which was the size my new garden is now. I don't know.

You know, I fret over the size of the runs I have and so wish my six could free range in the garden. Sadly they can't - end of. I have to remind myself that the sheds and runs they use are way bigger than what a lot of more unfortunate bunnies have to live in.

If you rehomed your buns would they be living in anything bigger than you have? Measure yours - it may be bigger than you think.

PS Hope Celeste decides to come out - little monkey

well I would only rehome to someone I knew who would have a bigger space - I wouldnt rehome to a rescue or anything like that. I've had feelers out for a good home for them since I knew we were moving and nothing good enough has come up Because like you I've reasoned that they are better off with me taking good care of them in a smaller enclosure than with someone else in god knows what.

I think a lot of this has to do with Angel and Stardust's deaths as well. I don't mean I am not being genuine about the run issue, I am genuinely concerned about the space for them. But since they died from myxi and then stasis (Angel) I've had a lot of panic attacks about Moon and Celeste and I havent really wanted to talk about it because I've felt like an ass.

Aw hun

You are no way an ass. I love our buns to bits but I have to admit the thought of them becoming ill scares the life out of me. Poorly bunnies are so incredibly stressful. You went through a horrendous time with Angel and Stardust, it would be an cold and unfeeling person not to be affected by their deaths.

Talk away - we all understand.

Erin, getting your feelings out on here will really help you. There is nothing like having to forumulate words to type into a post. It helps your distil your thoughts and seeing the actual words really helps too.

Nobody on here would dream of flaming you for what you have been through. I completely understand the reasoning about the run, but I do think you have a little bit of PTSD (post trauma stress) and you need to deal with this. You need to confront the feeling that you think that you failed Angel and Stardust in some way. You didn't. You did everything you could do, it was just bad luck. However, that doesn't mean that the other two are destined for the same outcome.

We love you and want you to feel better, so if you want, let us know how you are feeling and we can try to help. xx

Well Celeste is back in So that's great!

The thing is I reacted really shamefully to it. I stayed up night and day and nursed them all through it even though I was sick. I did everything that needed to be done, I did everything I could for Angel and SD then I got Moon & Celeste through their bout of nodular myxi. But once they came through it and I knew they were fine I couldn't deal with them anymore emotionally. I still loved/love them but I just handed over their practical care to Matthew. They were looked after by him. I was very sick, having operations and biopsies and everything and in and out of hospital and just thinking about them made me feel like I was going to hyperventilate. It was horrible and I felt really ashamed and I didn't know why. It got to the point where I couldn't even go in my garden anymore. I knew they were still well looked after and Matthew told me stories about them all the time but I just couldn't do it hands on. It was like panic attack each time I tried. And the more it went on the more ashamed I was that I was being like that over my own pets, I mean that is just really pathetic. But it was like as soon as they were out of danger of myxi I just lost it emotionally.

Now I am just beginning to feel better about them and more confident, but we've moved. And they're in a smaller space. And that is knocking me again. I am such a basketcase! Really its bizarre!

By the way I've had a diagnosis of my main problem. You know I've always had really terrible migraines that have become daily. Well over the years they've caused stroke like brain damage, so that is why I've got the weakness and the eye problem and slurred speech sometimes etc. Its not always like that it kind of comes and goes but it usually is at least 1/3 of the day.

How does that make you feel? It is good to have a diagnosis, but sometimes that brings with it, its own problems. I believe there is a lot they can do to aid recovery in stroke patients and no doubt they will be medicating you to prevent any further deterioration. Poor you, you have really been through the wars my dear.

For you, the buns are a focal point of all the bad feelings, pain and anguish you had over that period of time. It is the same reaction that a parent might have to a child whose mother has died in childbirth. The child is daily proof of the event. The parent knows his feelings are irrational, but can't help it. You have to try to talk this through so you can process your feelings and come through this.

You are far far from a basketcase. You are one of the most thoughtful and intelligent people I know.

well I'm glad to have a diagnosis finally but also it kinda sucks because I know every time I get a horrible migraine with the right kind of symptoms its killing a bit more of my brain that wont come back. Stroke runs in my family and each generation seems to be having them younger so I'm not feeling terribly optimistic about my long term health. Although I did have 3 days last week when I was relatively well which was phenomenal for me so I am hoping that the latest prescription combination is working well and will continue to show good results.

To be honest I have had a lot of feelings of failure over the last 2 years largely because of my illness. A lot of things I've wanted to do I havent done well at because my intention has been overcome by my bad health. I've finally learned that lesson though and have stopped trying to do those things that cannot be done. Now my ambitions are kept in the achievable realms i.e. still the writing etc which is going well. Would go a bit faster if my eyes hurt less but well nonetheless.

I think Nickie that the honest truth is, and I am ashamed to say this, I'm afraid of the rabbits in some way. They seem to represent every way I have failed or may fail again. When A&SD got myxi I was so shocked it felt like I just took my eye off the ball for a minute and next thing I knew they had this horrible disease. I doubt my ability to take care of everything well enough now. But either way as I said I wont let them down, they are here and have a good home. I just cant emotionally connect with them anymore. I love them and panicked this morning when I saw they had escaped but I cant engage properly.

I have to go for a bit though eyes are playing up. Thanks for listening I'll pop back after I've had a rest xxx

Hope you feel better after a rest.

oh Erin I'm so sorry you've had such an awful time I'm glad to see you though, sorry I don't have FB, but I did get snippets of info from other people who do.

I can understand your reaction to your buns, you went through such a traumatic time with Angel and Stardust, it was awful and it's bound to have left an emotional imprint on you. With the medical problems you've discovered, I'm hardly surprised.

M & C don't think you've failed them, you nursed them and brought them back to life They don't thnk anything, but they know that they are safe and secure. They have each other for company, and even that is more than sooo many rabbits get - (and I don't mean this to sound harsh) you don't really need to be involved emotionally with them. If the buns are happy, healthy, safe and they clearly have a trust and bond with you, then you are providing them with what they need.
Don't be hard on yourself, but if you really need to rehome them, then you do, and it's a decision that you as their carer will make for them, it's not a decision any of us ever want to face, but we can't all see into the future.

Lots of