DH says I spend too much time with the rabbits

Oh dear

He is complaining that i spend too much time seeing to them. I spend about 20 mins early morning sweeping out the hutch and changing the newspaper and another 20 mins in the early eve doing the same. I pop out periodically through the day to say hello and give them some fresh veg and also in the morning I put the run extension on to give them more room. I didn't think I spent too much time, infact I'd like to spend MORE time as I find them such peaceful and relaxing animals.
I feel really annoyed as I have given up ALL my interests and hobbies by having 3 little children. I sold my motorbike (which I didn't have time to ride anymore) and bought some bunnies and a hutch etc with the money as this is at least one thing that can involve the children. They do like the rabbits, esp my little boy, but DH is moaning that a dog would be less work and implied I'm not doing much with the kids cos I'm with the rabbits.

I've been suffering with postnatal depression for over a year cos I've lost my life, and the rabbits were something I enjoy, now i'm not even permitted that

Sorry to post such a miserable post, but had to let off some steam and vent my frustration somewhere. Thanks for reading

Ahh dear *hugs* That's not really fair too you, if that is something which has been making you feel better! Plus the rabbits greatly benefit from your company too. I also disagree about a dog, my mum has two dogs and they seem just as much hard work as rabbits...they follow her everywhere and u have to walk them, clean up their poo...feed them, tell them off. Pretty much the same thing!
Is there anyway you can get him more involved in looking after the rabbits? Or is he not very interested in them..it'd be a shame for you to feel like you have to spend less time with something u love so much. xx

Is there no way you can involve the kids more in the rabbits, therefore when you're spending time with the rabbits, you are with the kids, too, and then the OH can't complain you're not spending time with the kids?

Youd think he'd be a little more understanding, since you suffer post-natal depression.. Youd think he'd be happy for you.

I do involve the kids, my middle child loves to come out and sit in their run and give them thier greens. My daughter isn't that fussed, and the baby is a bit young and tends to pick up the poo's and hand them to me, but he does copy me when I fill up their hay racks (even though he just makes loads of mess )
TBH I sometimes just like the peacefulness of sitting outside with them, I have the kids 24/7 and I NEED a breather now and then. I probably wouldn't need all my pills if I just had some head space

Could it be that your OH feels you don't have enough time for him and he is using the bunnies as a reason to vent his frustration.

My OH does tend to tolerate the buns, but will do things for them when I am away, like I was last week. However, if they weren't there he wouldn't really miss them.

I was visiting my sister who has a dog and two cats and honestly, they were a handful. A dog is a big commitment and needs to be walked and exercised and that involves more than just a quick walk around the nearby streets.

Have you explained to your husband how important the buns are to you and your sanity? Maybe he doesn't quite understand what they mean to you.

Definitely agree that a dog wouldn't be much less work at all. It would probably be more involved if anything. He probably would just prefer a dog because it would interest him more. Sorry you're having a hard time. Hugs xx

A dog would be even more work because you'd have to take it for long walks twice/three times a day where as your rabbits you can let them free roam and you just only have to watch them and they give you joy.

I think he would prefer a dog, but as he is at work all day I know I wouldn't be able to meet the needs of a dog as they are such hard work at times.

I think maybe he does think I don't have enough time for him, but there's no time for anything really.

I haven't spent any time with them tonight or yesterday night. I really want to go out and see to them but feel I can't. DH has even said to the kids that I spend too much time, my daughter said that daddy gets cross when I go outside

I've explained that I find it relaxing and I enjoy seeing to them, but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
Not sure how to move forward with this really. I could just ignore him, see to the rabbits and suffer the fall out, or rehome them and try and recoup some of the money I have spent by selling the hutch and run.

You shouldn't have to get rid of something you love, seem to me that he isn't bothered that they make you feel relaxed in all honesty he needs to stop being selfish sorry if that seems harsh but he really does sound selfish. Relationships are about compromise. He should understand that the bunnies help you.

You are permitted to being happy! Sorry not permitted, entitled to be happy

I'm sorry you've had PND Forgive me if this at all assumptive, I don't know either of you (!), but it's not uncommon. I suspect that your OH is feeling a little left out, men can feel this just with children around, let alone 3 bunstas as well, and it's easier to blame the buns than the kids.

I think Rice's advice is good, help him understand why they are important, and also that they are not taking your affection away from him, but enabling you to heal. You obviously have a lot of love to give, and this is a good thing, in my opinion

Thanks for your replies, I'm gong to sit down and talk to DH tonight. I'm not getting rid of my bunnies. I gave Hazel a nice big huggle today and her fur has now grown back, her privates look much better and her spey scar has healed well. She looks soooo much happier now that she is safe with me so I'm not letting her go anywhere. Faline is her best mate and Vince is my cheeky chappy who makes me laugh (even if he did wreck the phone!)

All the kids have chicken pox at the mo, groooaaaannn! When they are in school and nursery and the babs is asleep, I usually sneak out to the buns for some time out then it doesn't affect anyone.

I hope your talk goes well & you get through this!

Good Luck!

Well spoke to DH and he said he was grumpy and tired the other day so that's why he said I spent too much time with the bunnies. He was feeling a bit neglected so we had a cuddle and now he's feeling happier and doesn't mind me spending time with the buns, but he still thinks a dog would be less worse ha ha!

Yay glad you sorted it out

Thank you

Yey!

Glad that went Ok

Sometimes just confronting a situation and discussing why a person feels how they do, is the best way to move forward. I'm glad that he has explained himself. I think, if he's anything like my OH, that he maybe carries a lot of stuff in his head and it gets bottled up and then it comes out wrong.

A newborn baby, while a marvellous blessing, is a lot of work and I think that men often worry about the commitment and the fact that the children are so reliant on them for money, housing. It is a lot on a man's shoulders and sometimes they are not very good at sharing that burden.

Maybe you could let him see how relaxing the buns are and make him a convert. Dogs whilst being more masculine, are a LOT of work. The perception that they are easy is a fallacy, just like rabbits are for kids.

Good stuff! I always say communication is the key to anything, my OH has finally agreed that I'm right...and that talking stuff through works better than not mentioning it...I agree with Nickie - maybe try n get him to see how nice it is spending time with the bunnys, he might surprise you!