I'm ready to come clean

and tell you all what I got up to at the weekend because I would appreciate your thoughts.

On Saturday OH and I went to the SSPCA centre again because I was still a bit torn about how I felt about Dave. When I got there and saw him, I realised that, as adorable as he is, I am definitely not ready to take a bunny home yet so I had to decide to let him go. I can't pin my hopes on him being there when I am ready because I would be so upset if someone was to get in there before me. I know this probably sounds stupid, because I only met him twice but I had spoken to the guy on the phone about him a lot and I care about him.

He is waaaay to destructive to be a house bunny anyway. He is as high as a kite and his enclosure was absolutely trashed

I also met Dave's wife and babies. Saacha looks just like Dave but a little bit smaller than him. This makes me wonder if they are brother and sister

The babies are gorgeous, 2 that look like mum and dad, a honey coloured one and a black one. (I'm on my laptop right now but when I've finished this post I will edit on my phone and upload a pic of them.)

They are only 4 weeks old.... so I opted to provisionally reserve 2 of them, thus buying myself 4 weeks to think about it. They have said that I can back out at any time but I fear they might want some commitment in 2 weeks time as they will be sexed at 6 weeks.

I'm STILL not sure about whether to take them or not. Yesterday I wanted them, today I don't

I'm pushing myself to decide how I feel about more buns because since the centre opened in August, they have only ever had single bunnies in until now. What if this is my only chance to get a duo???

I'm feeling really disloyal to Thumper thinking about it (as some of you will probably have seen in my recent Rainbow Bridge post to her) and I cried my eyes out all day Sunday about it, but like Carla said, will I ever NOT feel disloyal to Thumper if/when I take more bunnies in? Do I just need to accept that it's never going to feel 100% right? (Carla, I think it was you but apologies if I'm putting words in your mouth)

My reasons for wanting more bunnies:
I miss having Thumper to look after
I miss her company, her always being there and happy to see me.
OH plays football on a Sunday and come spring will be golfing on a Saturday. I don't like waking up/being in the house on my own. I've never known it before. (Maybe I would get used to it though)
Thumper gave me some purpose, other than the whole; get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, get up....... day in day out.
Well, to be truthful, I kinda prefer animals to humans (No offence intended) and I feel like I am an animal person who should have an animal.

But on the other hand:
They wouldn't be Thumper
People have said the connection is different with one bun than it is with 2 or more. I'm missing the close bond I had with Bubba, so perhaps getting 2 would be pointless anyway if I can't bond with them. I know I can't replace that bond, that's not what I mean, I wouldn't want to.
The aforementioned anxiety I had with Thumper (but hopefully it would be to a lesser degree if I had 2) was not fun. I became obsessed with her health and her welfare. Ridiculously so. I'm not even going to embarrass myself by writing some of the things my morning routine involved. Can I do this to myself again??
It broke my heart when she died, I'm sure you all know the feeling. My world revolved around hers and I'm lost and broken without her. I'm not joking when I say I don't know what to do with my time. If something was to happen to one of these bunnies any time soon, I'm not sure I could take it.

I really don't know what thoughts I am looking for, just thought I would off load

Sincere apologies for the long post!!!

Pic:

I know it's slightly different, but this is my take a week on after getting Dougal. I was warned, and also read online, the chances of me bonding with bunny2 as much as Florence was low, and that my relationship with Florence would be different.

Have I failed to bond with Dougal? No. He's a darling. He's the complete opposite of Florence, but that is partly why I choose him as first choice. Having two Florences would have been crazy!

Is my relationship with Florence different? No. The only thing she doesn't do now that she used to is jump on the sofa. No idea why, but it just isn't a fun game anymore. She still grooms me, plays up, attentions seeks, the lot. But now there is another bunny to also roll eyes at her!!!!

In all honesty, if I'd known how close bunnies can be, I would never have only got one. Florence is a lot calmer and less destructive. Hubbys even commented that she makes a lot less mess now she has Dougal, as in digging and chucking out bedding.

I don't think there is ever a "good time" to get another pet after the death of one, and as you said in your post what I said to you the other day. I think even if you waited two years you'd still feel the same.

I prefer animals to people too. When my last guinea pig died, two years ago last month, I had 18 months of not having a pet, mainly because hubby wasn't keen. As soon as Florence arrived the house felt "real" again. My living room just wasn't the same without hay on the floor.

Thumper will always be with you. But I do think that the benefits for you will outnumber the potential negatives. You will have two little bundles of fur to love. Don't worry about the chances of not getting two again, if you are really not ready don't think like that. But when you start thinking of possible names for them (don't know if you have) then I think it shows it was meant to be.

Oh my they are gorgeous Which two have you potentially reserved?

Oh hun, what turmoil you are in.

What a hard decision you have to make.

What I do know is that you would not be being disloyal getting more buns, the legacy thumper left you with is a wonderful one. You know how to love a bun and know how to help them reach their full potential. You know how to care for a bun and meet all his/her needs. It would be a far sadder thing not to share that - so few people know what you know, and have the capacity to love buns the way you do. What a waste of all that Thumper taught you that would be. More buns is not an insult to her memory its a tribute to it. That doesn't mean though that you need to share it right now, you can do it when you are ready, be that in two weeks time or two years time.

I do think having a pair is a good idea, I think they will have each other and therefore you will have more freedom and less worry. I also think that they will be so very different from thumper and they will bring you joy in some of the same ways Thumper did, but also in different ways to thumper too.

Perhaps the unconditional love these little guys can give you is just what you need - perhaps you need more time, only you can make that decision, trust yourself to follow your heart and you will make the right one.

Katie

Thanks Carla. You talk lot of sense.

She's been gone 9 weeks on Saturday and they've been the worst 9 weeks of my life. I don't know if more bunnies would actually help me pick myself up.

I don't suppose 9 weeks is a long time in the grand scheme of things, but they've been the longest 9 weeks ever for me.

I didn't go up there with the intention of reserving anything, I went up there to say bye to Dave, because in my heart I knwe he wasn't coming home with me. It was OH that said to me "If you want two of them you had better reserve them before someone else does"

But I think he said that for 2 reasons. 1. They are ickle and cute and daft and 2. He'll feel less guilty for not being at home much.

I could invite my friends over but most of the time I just don't feel like human company, do you know what I mean? I'm used to me and Thumper time!!

I kind of feel like I should do this for myself because OH gets everything that he wants, but I just need to decide if I can put myself through it all again and not feel too guilty towards Thumper.

Thank you for your thoughts, they are much appreciated

icedancer wrote:Oh my they are gorgeous Which two have you potentially reserved?

No two in particular as they haven't been sexed yet

Katieb wrote:Oh hun, what turmoil you are in.

What a hard decision you have to make.

What I do know is that you would not be being disloyal getting more buns, the legacy thumper left you with is a wonderful one. You know how to love a bun and know how to help them reach their full potential. You know how to care for a bun and meet all his/her needs. It would be a far sadder thing not to share that - so few people know what you know, and have the capacity to love buns the way you do. What a waste of all that Thumper taught you that would be. More buns is not an insult to her memory its a tribute to it. That doesn't mean though that you need to share it right now, you can do it when you are ready, be that in two weeks time or two years time.

I do think having a pair is a good idea, I think they will have each other and therefore you will have more freedom and less worry. I also think that they will be so very different from thumper and they will bring you joy in some of the same ways Thumper did, but also in different ways to thumper too.

Perhaps the unconditional love these little guys can give you is just what you need - perhaps you need more time, only you can make that decision, trust yourself to follow your heart and you will make the right one.

Katie

Thank you Katie, I really needed to hear that. I'm so glad you don't see it as being disloyal to her. I knew you guys wouldn't anyway but I really needed to hear it. I think I just think it is because it's only 9 weeks on, but I guess it's not about the number. I don't think I'd ever be happy whatever the number

Thank you

TBH I'm tempted to say just go for it. I think when you bring them home it might just feel "right". I had doubts about Dougal, even up to the point of bringing him home. I was filled with ifs and puts, but I have not regretted getting him for one minute, not even when he pooed and weed on the new rug!! I don't really know how to describe Dougal, other than gentle and placid, although when you've peeved him off he doesn't half thump at you Sometimes it still doesn't feel like he's mine, but I think I'd already miss him if he wasn't here.

This will be two new little furbabies. Not replacements just new ones.

I'm totally agreeing with everything you are saying, which is funny because I didn't want them earlier today

Watch this space, I'll decide NO again tomorrow.

I must be bugging you guys because I'm bugging myself!!!

I was worried about getting Charlie and Annie too. I was so worried about how I would cope with outdoor buns....would I stress about them the way I stress about Daisy? Would I be able to love them? Would I even be able to bond with them?

But as soon as they were in my carrier they were mine and I loved them, and they make me happy.

I just want you to get a bunny or two!! I know you have so much love to give, and as Katie said you have such knowledge about bunnies it would be a shame to waste it. But it does have to be right for you.

I think as long as you allow yourself to back out you will. I know I do the same. But this could be the start of a happy and loving relationship for all of you

Katieb wrote:I was worried about getting Charlie and Annie too. I was so worried about how I would cope with outdoor buns....would I stress about them the way I stress about Daisy? Would I be able to love them? Would I even be able to bond with them?

But as soon as they were in my carrier they were mine and I loved them, and they make me happy.

I know you guys are right. A guy in my work even said to me "it's not like you would take them home and hate them is it?" and it's true, it's not in my nature to hate a small fuzzy!

I would just feel so bad for them if I couldn't bond with them, I'd hate myself

Why do I have to over analyse everything

I don't think it is about being disloyal to Thumper, you have a need to fill the bun shaped space in your life. I think sometimes having a pair really underlines this - you have a different relationship with each one. Also the 2 buns look out for each other - when Flo escaped a while back Bruce came and found me and made me know she had done something. Likewise she has subtle ways of letting me know when Bruce is under the weather. And the sheer joy you get from watching the interaction between the two buns is often thrilling. A friend of mine had 2 siblings from very young and they were devoted and close in a way I have not seen in other pairs of buns. Unfortunately hers were sickly and both died probably from a mix of gastric issues and E.C. I think she would tell you that she was sad she lost them but was privileged to have had them in her life. She has had rabbits in her life - mostly singles - since she was a teen and now she is retired. After a little time she always wants to fill the bun shaped hole in her life. I think she would tell you that some bonds have been much closer with her than others but you don't take on the buns demanding the close bond. You take on the buns because you want to give them a chance of a good life, because you enjoy their company, because you can't help yourself. By taking on the babies you have an opportunity to choose 2 characters which suit your wants - which means doing a couple of visits. If you want sweet handleable buns you can make that choice. If you want more independent buns you can make that choice. But make no mistake, you are taking them on because you love rabbits not because you are replacing Thumper. No bun can do that.

icedancer wrote:
I think as long as you allow yourself to back out you will.

How come you've never met me yet you know me so well??

Thumper2001 wrote:

icedancer wrote:
I think as long as you allow yourself to back out you will.

How come you've never met me yet you know me so well??

Because me and you could be long lost twins we're so similar!!!

Humum says:

What better tribute could you pay Thumper than becoming a lifelong bunny carer?

We're in a slightly different situation - we started off with two rabbits which were my husbands pets as I'd never had rabbits and thought they were simply uninteresting animals which lived in a hutch in the garden. Thankfully I now know far better. Due to ignorance we've ended up with eleven - they are all different and, in their own ways, incredibly entertaining. Father Jack and Mrs Doyle only have eyes for each other and couldn't give two figs if there are humans about so long as the food keeps turning up. On the other hand, Sparky has just come upstairs to remind me that this is the time I normally brush her for half an hour and demand that I go and do so. She was most insistent and I have had to be mean and shut her downstairs with her Hudad while I write this. Poirot is friendly and always comes for a noserub (and hope for a treat). Smudge is incredibly shy and I nearly cried the first time he came close enough to take a banana chip from my hand. Graham can take or leave us as long as she has somewhere to dig. I've learnt to behave they way they want me to around each of them, and to love each and every one of them for who they are.

None of them are quite like Sparky. Considering what she has been through, the syringes she has had poked in her mouth and the needles in the back of the neck, she is the sweetest natured, most mischievous, loving, active, playful and funny little girl. She goes in to be spayed on Friday, and despite the fact that I know she is in the best possible hands, I am still very worried. We lost three rabbits to pasteurella last year, and each one caused its own heartache. I actually adopted Rosie to try to fill the hole that Sunny left in my life. She did a wonderful job, she is another bun full of character, but so completely unlike laid-back Sunny that she could never be considered a replacement.

I'm looking forward to being able to go husbun shopping with Sparky in a few weeks. But I also know that if the worst happens on Friday, we will be absolutely devastated... but some time later there will be another bun joining our clan.

I just can't imagine not having bunnies in my life, and I feel that I now have a duty of care to use the knowledge that this lot have allowed me to gain.

Just my 2p-worth...

(Well, more like 20p )



Sparky says:

Do you need me to be bossy?

cheryl'n'bruce'flo wrote:I don't think it is about being disloyal to Thumper, you have a need to fill the bun shaped space in your life. I think sometimes having a pair really underlines this - you have a different relationship with each one. Also the 2 buns look out for each other - when Flo escaped a while back Bruce came and found me and made me know she had done something. Likewise she has subtle ways of letting me know when Bruce is under the weather. And the sheer joy you get from watching the interaction between the two buns is often thrilling. A friend of mine had 2 siblings from very young and they were devoted and close in a way I have not seen in other pairs of buns. Unfortunately hers were sickly and both died probably from a mix of gastric issues and E.C. I think she would tell you that she was sad she lost them but was privileged to have had them in her life. She has had rabbits in her life - mostly singles - since she was a teen and now she is retired. After a little time she always wants to fill the bun shaped hole in her life. I think she would tell you that some bonds have been much closer with her than others but you don't take on the buns demanding the close bond. You take on the buns because you want to give them a chance of a good life, because you enjoy their company, because you can't help yourself. By taking on the babies you have an opportunity to choose 2 characters which suit your wants - which means doing a couple of visits. If you want sweet handleable buns you can make that choice. If you want more independent buns you can make that choice. But make no mistake, you are taking them on because you love rabbits not because you are replacing Thumper. No bun can do that.

Thanks Cheryl, you also talk a lot of sense and I know this is a great opportunity for me. I'd be stupid to let it pass me by. I'm pretty sure I'd regret it if I did!

If I'm completely honest with myself, I think I'm scared! I knew Thumper inside out, upside down. Plus I've never actively went looking for a bun either, Thumper found me!

It's all a bit daunting

And what clever buns you have!!!

ETA, and I've never had proper baby bunnies. They will only be 8 weeks

icedancer wrote:

Thumper2001 wrote:

icedancer wrote:
I think as long as you allow yourself to back out you will.

How come you've never met me yet you know me so well??

Because me and you could be long lost twins we're so similar!!!

I thought you would say something like that!!

Sparky wrote:Humum says:

What better tribute could you pay Thumper than becoming a lifelong bunny carer?

We're in a slightly different situation - we started off with two rabbits which were my husbands pets as I'd never had rabbits and thought they were simply uninteresting animals which lived in a hutch in the garden. Thankfully I now know far better. Due to ignorance we've ended up with eleven - they are all different and, in their own ways, incredibly entertaining. Father Jack and Mrs Doyle only have eyes for each other and couldn't give two figs if there are humans about so long as the food keeps turning up. On the other hand, Sparky has just come upstairs to remind me that this is the time I normally brush her for half an hour and demand that I go and do so. She was most insistent and I have had to be mean and shut her downstairs with her Hudad while I write this. Poirot is friendly and always comes for a noserub (and hope for a treat). Smudge is incredibly shy and I nearly cried the first time he came close enough to take a banana chip from my hand. Graham can take or leave us as long as she has somewhere to dig. I've learnt to behave they way they want me to around each of them, and to love each and every one of them for who they are.

None of them are quite like Sparky. Considering what she has been through, the syringes she has had poked in her mouth and the needles in the back of the neck, she is the sweetest natured, most mischievous, loving, active, playful and funny little girl. She goes in to be spayed on Friday, and despite the fact that I know she is in the best possible hands, I am still very worried. We lost three rabbits to pasteurella last year, and each one caused its own heartache. I actually adopted Rosie to try to fill the hole that Sunny left in my life. She did a wonderful job, she is another bun full of character, but so completely unlike laid-back Sunny that she could never be considered a replacement.

I'm looking forward to being able to go husbun shopping with Sparky in a few weeks. But I also know that if the worst happens on Friday, we will be absolutely devastated... but some time later there will be another bun joining our clan.

I just can't imagine not having bunnies in my life, and I feel that I now have a duty of care to use the knowledge that this lot have allowed me to gain.

Just my 2p-worth...

(Well, more like 20p )



Sparky says:

Do you need me to be bossy?

Sparky, can you please give your humum a huge from me. That was a lovely, heart felt post that she wrote and I really appreciate it Can you please also tell her that she needs to give you guys extra treats because she is obviously very wise, and that's thanks to you little fuzz balls of course

And also tell her thank you (Am I pushing my luck asking you to do me so many favours? )

All I can say is I have have been living with rabbits for 26 ( maybe longer ) years with a 2 year break. They are the reason I get up in the morning , they are just wonderful creatures that even talking about them makes me want to cry as I love them so much. I couldn't imagine my life without them as I would be lonely and deeply depressed. With me having MH issues they have given me a life, taught me so very much and they are so therapeutic, but then animals are !

Firstly I don't think you would be disloyal to Thumper by giving a home to two buns who are going to need a forever home one day, I think Thumper would be kind of proud of her Mummy and I can imagine her sat next to big Uncle Pud and nudging him with a paw and smiling with her nose as bunnies do, but at the end of the day it's what you want and what is best for you. You can never replace Thumper and you wouldn't want to like I can never ever replace Pud.
I still think you need time as you have so much going on in your mind, you are still grieving for Thumper and then thinking about these little baby buns and then Thumper and then you are in meltdown.

Whatever you choose to do I am sure will be for the best

I think when you have had a bond with any animal its hard to even imagine if you could create such a bond again, if you dont - have you failed them, if you do - does that make your original bond less unique? I have had all the thoughts, been there and back again after Bonnie my dog dies and...now I can say that I will never ever love or have a bond with any animal like I did Bonnie. But that doesnt mean that I can't love another dog as much as i loved her, its just different.

You're not replacing Thumper , you can't. You are just making a space, next to your space reserved for Thumper, for two little tearaways! x

Thumper2001 wrote:

cheryl'n'bruce'flo wrote:I don't think it is about being disloyal to Thumper, you have a need to fill the bun shaped space in your life. I think sometimes having a pair really underlines this - you have a different relationship with each one. Also the 2 buns look out for each other - when Flo escaped a while back Bruce came and found me and made me know she had done something. Likewise she has subtle ways of letting me know when Bruce is under the weather. And the sheer joy you get from watching the interaction between the two buns is often thrilling. A friend of mine had 2 siblings from very young and they were devoted and close in a way I have not seen in other pairs of buns. Unfortunately hers were sickly and both died probably from a mix of gastric issues and E.C. I think she would tell you that she was sad she lost them but was privileged to have had them in her life. She has had rabbits in her life - mostly singles - since she was a teen and now she is retired. After a little time she always wants to fill the bun shaped hole in her life. I think she would tell you that some bonds have been much closer with her than others but you don't take on the buns demanding the close bond. You take on the buns because you want to give them a chance of a good life, because you enjoy their company, because you can't help yourself. By taking on the babies you have an opportunity to choose 2 characters which suit your wants - which means doing a couple of visits. If you want sweet handleable buns you can make that choice. If you want more independent buns you can make that choice. But make no mistake, you are taking them on because you love rabbits not because you are replacing Thumper. No bun can do that.

Thanks Cheryl, you also talk a lot of sense and I know this is a great opportunity for me. I'd be stupid to let it pass me by. I'm pretty sure I'd regret it if I did!

If I'm completely honest with myself, I think I'm scared! I knew Thumper inside out, upside down. Plus I've never actively went looking for a bun either, Thumper found me!

It's all a bit daunting

And what clever buns you have!!!

ETA, and I've never had proper baby bunnies. They will only be 8 weeks

Its fun. I had Florence at 9 weeks and it was great. For the first few days I had her in my old guinea pig cage which didn't have a top. When I went out and at night I put her in the downstairs loo in case she escaped. She was as good as gold, until I took her into the hallway for her first run around. Then she jumped out as soon as she was put back, it was like she knew she was allowed to afterall!

One of the beautys of getting a baby too is you roughly know its background. With Dougal I'm always wondering what really happened to him. I know I'll probably never know, but it doesn't stop me thinking.

How are you feeling about them today?

SarahJane wrote:I think when you have had a bond with any animal its hard to even imagine if you could create such a bond again, if you dont - have you failed them, if you do - does that make your original bond less unique? I have had all the thoughts, been there and back again after Bonnie my dog dies and...now I can say that I will never ever love or have a bond with any animal like I did Bonnie. But that doesnt mean that I can't love another dog as much as i loved her, its just different.

You're not replacing Thumper , you can't. You are just making a space, next to your space reserved for Thumper, for two little tearaways! x

Thanks SJ, its so good to know that you "get" where I'm coming from. I feel like a raving lunatic some days and I'm driving myself up the wall

Carla, I don't really know where I'm at today

I reckon I'm going to spend a fair bit of time reading and re-reading this thread until I can convince myself

Thumper2001 wrote:ETA, and I've never had proper baby bunnies. They will only be 8 weeks

Baby buns are so much fun and just unbearably cute I suppose the downside is that you won't know if they might be prone to dental or other health problems...

Just be ready to have them neutered the moment they start showing signs of hormones, as some of ours turned into complete monsters overnight

(Our vet would actually have been happy to do them even sooner, I think she said 16 weeks for girls and 'as soon as they drop' for the boys.)

Thumper2001 wrote:Sparky, can you please give your humum a huge from me. That was a lovely, heart felt post that she wrote and I really appreciate it Can you please also tell her that she needs to give you guys extra treats because she is obviously very wise, and that's thanks to you little fuzz balls of course

And also tell her thank you (Am I pushing my luck asking you to do me so many favours? )

Consider it done. I told her about the extra treats bit twice, and plan to tell her again later on this evening