A Prison Diary by prisoner no F33DM3

Day 1 - Sunday 26th Feb.

2pm.
I've just been given a Fenugreek Crunchie. It's not even close to bedtime. Something is afoot

2.15pm
The hu-parents have just left the house. They told me to be good before they went. Are they kidding?!

2.30pm
ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

5.30pm.
Strange. I thought I heard the Hu-parents return, but our house has been invaded by strangers (well, not that strange, I recognise these humans from over the fence). I conceal myself in case they are up to no good.

5.35pm
They fed me so I have decided that I love them I tried pointing out where all the valuables were but I don't think they understood.

6.00pm
Oh no! This is just awful! I've tried to go behind the sofa for my main evening snooze, and I can't get out of the pen! Need to explore...

6.35pm
I've checked everywhere. Under the hutch, in my house, in my bed, through the tunnel. I've dug at things and chewed at them and pulled things up and over and across, and I just can't find a way out. I booted up my laptop to send an SOS across the internet.... and no internet. No telly, no radio, not even a magazine to read. Conditions here are just terri.... just a sec... ah, the strangers are back with veggies... nomnomnom.... anyway, as I was saying the conditions here are just terrible. I am determined to find a way to escape.



to be continued.....

It's good to have you back Sparky

And this is why we have missed you Sparky!

Sparky wrote:
They fed me so I have decided that I love them

Sparky... you are so easy

Looking forward to the next instalment!

This diary looks like its going to be goooood!!

Dotdot wrote:And this is why we have missed you Sparky!

Sparky wrote:
They fed me so I have decided that I love them

Sparky... you are so easy

Looking forward to the next instalment!

Well this is the bun that wanted a purple vajazzle

You are easily bought aren't you! A couple of fenugreek crunchies, some veggies and a cuddle and you just roll over!

you are so funny sparky! I cant wait to read the rest of your prison memoirs. Perhaps you should think about contacting some publishers, whoever published Jeffrey Archers might be a good place to start.

I'm curious if F33DM3 means something or if it was just random....

Thumper2001 wrote:I'm curious if F33DM3 means something or if it was just random....

Is it supposed to be Freedom?

icedancer wrote:

Thumper2001 wrote:I'm curious if F33DM3 means something or if it was just random....

Is it supposed to be Freedom?

Ha! That's exactly what I thought!

Prisoner F33DM3 is prisoner Feed Me in code

Sparky I look forward to your next chapter!

Of course it is!!!! Dur!!!

Oh yea! Genius!

I just waited until someone else figured it out! Thanks Kelly.

FudgesMummy wrote:Prisoner F33DM3 is prisoner Feed Me in code

Auntie Kelly understands me perfectly

It's a good job I wasn't looking after you Sparky, I wouldn't have fed you and just let you escape

Sparky wrote:

FudgesMummy wrote:Prisoner F33DM3 is prisoner Feed Me in code

Auntie Kelly understands me perfectly

Should I worry about that one Sparky???

Day 2 - Monday 27th Feb

6am
The rattle of keys in the cell kitchen door wakes me

6.15am
Breakfast. Today it is pellets.

6.20am
Exercise. I do some laps of the pen to keep myself in shape for any escape opportunity which might present itself

6.30am
The warders leave, so I decide to thoroughly examine my enclosure to find any weak points or any tools which may be of use.

11.30am
I made the mistake of starting my exploring in my bed area, and it was just too cosy in there on a full tummy

12.30pm
Lunch - hay.

1pm
I take a nonchalant stroll around the perimeter. The fencing seems to be secure – too secure. I start to realise that my earlier, brief incarcerations were just a ruse by the Hu-parents. I actually helped them find all the weak points, which have now been reinforced. I have to admit, I never thought they were quite that clever.

1.05pm
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

4pm
Strategy meeting with my fellow inmates, Big Bun, Little Bun and Dragon. They’re no use at all, stupid stuffed animals. They’re not even tall enough to give me a leg-up over the fence.

5pm
Tea - pellets, followed by veg.

5.18pm
The warders storm into my cell and in an obviously well-rehearsed manoeuvre, wrestle me under control, hustle me into a small box and slam the door. There’s some joggling around then I realise I am in a moving vehicle. I wonder if I am being moved to high security. I wonder if they have become aware of my escape plans. I wonder if one of my cell mates has lagged on me. I’ve never trusted that constant smirk on Little Bun’s face…


5.37pm
I am hauled out of the box, pinned down under a bright light and injected with something. I refuse to talk, they will never get me to lag. I get poked and prodded but I keep my mouth shut and eventually they return me to my box.


6.04pm
I’m actually relieved to be back in my cell. That was a traumatic hour or so. As I can’t get to my Sulking Place behind the sofa, I decide to adopt a new one under the hutch.

7.08pm
Still sulking

8.15pm
Still sulking

9.25pm
Still sulking

10pm
Bedtime treat. A Fenugreek Crunchie. I think they might be drugging them.

10.03pm
Back to sulking

10.05pm
Lights out

Was it an alien abduction Sparky? Did anyone have rubber gloves on?

(Can you feel the sympathy! )

And Sparky, just think of the fun Humum and Hudad were having on their holiday!! Where did they go to?

Oh my god thats hilarious!

Well done sparky for keeping it buttoned. you should be proud of yourself not breaking under torture and truth serum!

I think you may be recruited for MI5.

In your true style, Sparks!

If this were a book Sparky, I'd buy it!

I was sat here a while going Prisoner F33DM3 what could that mean. Then it clicked, at least I'm not the only one!!

Or it means Feed me F33D M3? We know you LOve to eat Sparky!