Too little too late. New here and in need of support.

I am new on this forum but have joined under sad circumstances.

My rabbit called Little Girl was put to sleep yesterday. I don't feel when I talk about her to other people they understand. There are lines for pet bereavement but I need to speak to other people who have had rabbits. Its difficult as people don't realise rabbits have such unique and different personalty traits.

I have so much guilt. I was reassured nothing could be done for her large tumour. But I feel I should have done more earlier. I didn't spot it until it was too late and the vet said it had probably spread. I wish I could have one more summer with her. I sat in the garden and did some gardening the day before she was put to sleep, I and thought to myself I will leave the rabbits in the shade of their hutch as the weather was intensely hot. On the night before I rushed her to the vets in the morning, I said to the family shall I bring Little Girl in and its was a "No she will be in the way I wouldn't do it until tomorrow" I had no idea anything of this would happen so fast or even at all. When I woke up that day yesterday

I just miss her so much I love her deary. She was a 'scaredy' rabbit, and she didn't mind being held she loved be stroked but didn't like being picked up. Sometimes when she was young for the first few years I would bring her in but she would hide. She had beautiful long eye lashes and you could tell by just looking at her she was a female. I feel its end of a era in my life, I had her for six years. This is what the problem is for me - Google that is my problem. Rabbits according to a Google search should live 8-12 years. She did not - I failed. I cant get over this feeling. I keep punishing myself saying she should have gone to a different home. But then I remember back she was the last nobody wanted in her litter. I have the memory of taking her home for the first time so strong. I have other pets rabbits from her family related to her, but Little Girl was my first. Little Girl was the one I only had a deep connection with and was my special one, she had the best and kindest temperament. She was a cautious rabbit but seemed wise.

I have to carry on for my other rabbits but now my special first rabbit is gone, I find it hard to love them. Its been a short time, but I feel guilty for burying her this morning and carrying on. It was very emotional, and thought to myself I can never move home ever in the future now she is buried here in the back garden. Unless the new owners let me visit. The pain is so intense and guilt.

First, let me say how very sorry I am about Little Girl, you loved her very much, that is obvious. But you mustn't feel guilty or blame yourself for what happened. Rabbits are so very clever at hiding the fact that they are ill and forget whatever you read on Google, that would be an 'average' age. Just as many human's die much before the average age of the species, so it is with every other living creature. Life has no guarantees ... except death, and that can come at any time for all living things. So stop blaming yourself.
I was lucky that my first rabbit lived to be ten years old and she was a very special rabbit, the one who learnt me how clever rabbits can be and how much fun. Clawed will always be my first, special rabbit love.
My present rabbit, Reboot, is very poorly at the moment. He has been diagnosed with arthritis in his spine and one hind leg and, even if we can get him eating properly again and on a maintainable course of pain relief, this will shorten his life span. He is only two now and I know he will never live to be as old as Clawed.
Right now I would advise you to spend more time with your other rabbits and look at all their little ways for all rabbits are different. You will love each of them for a different reason and in a different way. Let them heal you.
I don't know your financial position, but you could have Little Girl cremated like I have had all my rabbits. Why not ask your vet about it? It might still be OK to exhume her for cremation and then you need never leave her behind. But if that isn't possible perhaps you could plant a special shrub or something by her grave and keep a little of the soil in a special box so that you can always have that with you to connect you to her.

[quote="woodwench" Google, that would be an 'average' age. Just as many human's die much before the average age of the species, so it is with every other living creature. Life has no guarantees ... except death, and that can come at any time for all living things.
[/quote]

Thank you for you message it has meant a lot to me. This is very true and I must keep telling myself the above.

I Last night I was thinking and it might be her final ending of her life, that has done this to me. The putting Little Girl to sleep. It was so sudden that she had one day left. If she had passed away on her own in her sleep I would be broken but it was the fact I had to drive her to the vets sit and wait a while for the late running appointment and pay to have her put down. It was a absolutely dreadful finish. Last night I had terrible nightmares with the moment her being injected in the vets room. The nightmare was so real. But in the nightmare I was in the vets examination room with her and the vet said she was taking too long and had to see other animals with their owners while I was still in the room holding her on the table. It's was a horrendous nightmare. I feel I should have loved her more, but then I remember and I cant punish myself. I have realised the past few days that Little Girl was a rabbit, I keep confusing myself and blaming myself for not treating her like a cat or dog. I treated her like a rabbit, I wish I had her on my bed more and run around the house. (when I tried she was frighten and hid) But this is false image because she wasn't meant to do things like that it wasn't natural to her breed. I have a question do all rabbits that get spayed avoid cancer of the ovary? It would have just been increased/decreased probability - still not definite 100% certain.

I am so very sorry to hear this sweetie, we all know exactly what you are feeling and it is dreadful. You have nothing to feel guilty about, she had a great life with you and she knew she was loved. Lots of cuddles on their way.

hugs
JO xx

When a female is spayed her uterus and ovaries are removed and that means she can never get uterine or ovarian cancer. Just like neutering a buck rabbit means he can never get testicular cancer.
There are other cancers though that can take a rabbit. I lost my rabbit, Truffle, to lung cancer which is totally unavoidable.

Only one of the 8 rabbits I have had died without a vets assistance and it was an awful thing to see, she died in front of me gasping for breath ... she had pneumonia. But if you were there with Little Girl, holding her then that was good because she could feel your touch, smell you, feel your warmth and hear you breathing and talking. You were with her and that is the most important thing. And the injection is quite painless, my vet tells me that it gives a warm feeling to the animal that drifts away, like going to sleep.
Of my eight rabbits four have been house rabbits and all four were/are very happy indoors and being boss. Not all rabbits are the same though and if Little Girl was shy and nervous she would probably have been happiest outdoors close to her rabbit friends, she would miss them when indoors.

I am so sorry for your loss, nothing will ease the pain just now but over time you learn to cope.
I understand about the feeling of guilt, i live with it daily after losing two young rabbits in a 12 month period( both with different issues), no matter how much the vet tells me that it was not my fault and how commited I am to them, that guilt will always be there.

Just because she was a rabbit it does not mean she is less important than a dog or cat. Just because you had a rabbit doesn't make her loss less important than someone with a dog or cat.
My dad used to have that mentallity( its just a rabbit) until he met my soundwave and when it came to say good bye to my crazy fluff, we were both in that vets breaking our hearts.

Think of the fun times you both had.
That look she would give you before she got up to mischief, those big eyelashes giving you the 'is it food time' look.
Keep talking about the good times.

I have keep sake boxes for each of my rabbits I have lost, it has there blankets and fav toys in them. I have 2 lockets with cuttings of their fur, one has miranda and soundwave, the other has jetfire who will be joined with thundercracker when he crosses the bridge.

With the other bunnies the feeling of I dont love them as much is because you put so much effort into little girl, it a natural feeling which will pass.
When soundwave passed, I thought I would never love jetfire and thundercracker the same amount. I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG.
I love them all so much whether they are here or not, the grieve takes over.
You dont get over a loss you learn how to manage it and cope.

We will be here for you

Xxx

I'm so sorry you lost Little Girl

As Woodwench said, rabbits are very good at hiding illness often until it is too late

We lost our girl Temperance to cancer almost 3 years ago, we came back from holiday and she had lost a significant amount of weight. Vet found a large mass in her abdomen and a CT scan revealed that in addition she had less than 25% healthy lung tissue left. There was nothing that could be done. Apart from the weight loss her behaviour was normal. She's the little face in my avatar.

You are right, people who have not truly shared their lives with rabbits don't understand. They are amazing, special souls - and everyone here understands that.