Bonding new rabbit to existing pair - given up and fed up!

Well, I knew it wasn't going to be a bed of roses and I had read as much as I could find about bonding multiple rabbits prior to starting.
Several years ago bonding my first pair took almost five months from start to finish but they were living in separate cages, had different run times and we got them together for short spells each day building up tolerance slowly. I still remember how difficult it was though and how stressful.
It has been over a month in a couple of big neutral spaces, partitioned when we weren't there so they could see and smell each other but the bunnies have had at least three hours a day and sometimes up to ten hours where they were all together. I have moved them to different sides of the area every day so that territories wouldn't develop.
Ten days ago it seemed to be getting better, still apart but more ignoring. However over the last week a pattern has emerged and behaviours seem to have 'locked in'....The young guy is ever watchful of the pair. Whenever either approaches he dashes away scared. There are times when both of the pair will chase him intending to really bite especially my territorial one eyed female (I spray with my water gun if I think violence is in the air!!) but sometimes I think the adult pair just get close to have a sniff.. but he is off anyway, he is taking no chances!!.
This is a bit sad as I know he is desperate to be friends with them. When the barrier is put up he lies as close to them as possible and just watches them through the wire!!

We took them for a long car ride last week ( described this previously but my mail got lost in the internet wilderness) We brought them to the car separately and put them in a big box. All obviously stressed they huddled together for the entire trip ( no aggression whatsoever). We kept the box on the kitchen floor for a half an hour after returning and not a peep. When I took them out and put them into a really large (cleaned) dog cage the previous behaviours gradually returned as the adults started to feel more comfortable in their surroundings.
They are now in separate large cages right next to each other in a downstairs room, bonding pen has been pulled down.
The young guy has been out of the room and this evening I will bring him upstairs for a wander round so that his scent is there when I let the pair out of the room probably in the next two or three days. That way maybe they will appreciate that the house is his space too...(sensible??)
So soon they will all be loose.
I intend to feed them their vegetables and willow branches all together and to supervise this closely and I will monitor any aggressive behaviour from the pair and see how it goes.
Two positive things here- this is a very big house with three floors and the young one can outrun the others if needed. This is not ideal but at the moment it is worth trying.
Somebody suggested finding a friend for the young guy. Unfortunately it is difficult to separate spaces in the house - everything works from the central hall and stairway. I have kept him in a separate room for a couple of months prior to the bonding. Awful! (One rabbit on one side of the door wanting to get out and the others on the other side wanting to get in and people, especially little kids leave doors open...)

Maybe in a while I will take all three to the Dieren Bescherming (RSPCA equivalent in Holland) and try to bond them with one of their lady buns. (They do have bonding facilities there but this would be big ask)
********

I would really like to know whether anyone has managed this before? Rabbits learning to tolerate each other in a large space?
Also, is it possible to try again at a later date, or with an extra rabbit to change the dynamics? -or is that it - the chance has gone and they will never ever ever be bonded??
Maybe we could get in to the car rides again?? Oh dear... I must sound a bit defeated
...sorry.

Would really appreciate a bit of feedback.
Thanks so much
Sarah

It might be that your bonding area is too big. You need them to interact, otherwise they will do what you have described and just keep out of each other's way. You need them to face up to each other and get used to each other.

Perhaps you could try the car ride again - and then put them together in a smaller area.

I bonded my two boys in a bathroom area which was tiny. Another place you can try is a bath because it is shiny and makes them feel less confident as it is slippy. (Also it is easy to clean out!) The difficulty is with a trio because someone's nose is always out of joint.

Sophia (Marley&friends) recently bonded her 3. What she did was to start them in a tiny pen then for each few days they did not fight she extended it a bit. It sounds cruel but it works. The car thing works on a stress basis - if the buns are stressed then they seek out each others company. You can cause stress in different ways at home such as putting the pen in the busiest noisiest part of the house. Vacuuming around the pen etc. But you have to understand that you are stressing them and make sure you don't stress them too much. But please don't give up. It took 6 months to bond my pair and now they are so cute together, it was so worth it.

Thank you Nickie and Cornish lady
I don't think my bonding areas were really too big. Have worked it out (allowing for the fact the spaces were curved and we work in metres) it was about 40 -45 square feet. Of course they only had half of that when the pen was divided. I was reading the RWAF special and the Bobtails rescue used a space of about 60 square feet for 4-5 rabbits which would put this about right. The space was good because I could fit in two or three cardboard boxes and a tunnel or two and some willow branches. i always made sure the environment was renewed frequently so then there was stuff to chew on/ explore and less reason to chase.
Although I feel the bonding has 'failed' to date we are further on than five weeks ago. At least there is unlikely to be any more roly poly fighting on the ground - horrible!! Initial sessions were so fraught because the young rabbit was so aggressive towards the adults - -attacking continually!! He frightened them and us and although we were quick it was not always quick enough and I have had to use antibiotics on really nasty bites. We halted several of the early bonding sessions early because he was so aggressive... However I don't know what changed or why it changed but all of a sudden the tables had turned and the pair were definitey in charge.
It stopped going forward this week I think because the adults were in control. There was no stress on them at this point but there was certainly stress on the small fellow. Kind of not fair for him to be continually so scared and watchful. He has become very nervous.
Will give it a rest for the short term because I really have had enough. So many hours sitting especially on the top floor doing 'riot control'.
My concern is really with my female rabbit (not the dominant in the pairing) she really can attack this young one.
So thanks very much especially for the idea that all is not lost.
Bath -we don't have a bath here anymore (could get one from a demolition outfit for the purpose - and have a 'bonding bath' in the living room!! The car trip really did the trick because as you say it was vibrating and noisy and unfamiliar. Indeed it is a shame that we can't get our car onto the property from the street because I have considered keeping them in the car for the bonding ( it is a people carrier and you could flatten out the back) - and every so often if there was any monkey business you could start the engine and drive away. Fantastic! (Also car not very important to us here because we use our bikes.)
Thanks very much
Sarah
By the way Cornish lady - where are you from??
I grew up in West Penwith. My mum passed away last year so I was down there several times. Lots of relatives still there.

I'm Cheryl and I'm from Bodmin.

Hi Cheryl
You're from the other end of God's country...
I have just brought the young rabbit back into the downstairs room where their cages were set up last night -side by side. He had been out of the room for only a couple of hours and they both attacked him when he came in. In that time my territorial female weed all over the floor. She does that a lot... but surprising as the amount of territorial poohing etc.. had all but disappeared recently whilst they were in the big pen. Kind of think unless I start the bonding again the situation is unsustainable - they just won't let him go about his business unhassled.
Problem is here that there is really nowhere left that is neutral territory any more. These rabbits go everywhere really...
Thought yesterday about even paying someone to have a go at this as I'm running out of puff ( things a bit tough sometimes as I recently had a double knee replacement and I have to be very careful... but expertise is limited here I think. They bond at the RSPCA equivalent that was set up recently in the Hague but I don't feel that they have huge experience. They bond rabbits so that they can rehome them (often only the male is neutered because of lack of funds and female neutering is only just taking off here) but if they put a couple in the pen and it isn't working out then they find another combination and try that. In that way
they don't have to 'dig really deep' like people who have to try and bond their existing bunnies.
Ah well... Your Flo looks like my once -upon- a- time very wild rabbit.He has that wild colouring and all the instincts that wild rabbits have including being scared of the owls at night. He will thump and thump....
S